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Are the people around you invalidating you and holding you back from progressing?Invalidation is an element of toxic relationships, and I’m going to discuss both today.In this busy world today most of us don't have time to be overly sensitive and we don't TAKE the time to feel how we feel around a person, place or thing.Another true but sad example: In our culture (America) the woman walks next to the man or in front of the man.Validation is a way of communicating that the relationship is important and solid even when you disagree on issues.Validation is the recognition and acceptance of another person's thoughts,feelings, sensations, and behaviors as understandable. Holding someone's hand when they are having a painful medical treatment, listening with your whole mind and doing nothing but listening to a child describe their day in first grade, and going to a friend's house at midnight to sit with her while she cries because a supposed friend told lies about her are all examples of being present.One of the four options we have in any problem situation is acceptance.

For years when a person came to me because they had to change because the other people at work didn't like them or their husband or in-laws didn't like them, I would tell them. Your problem is you are with people who do not value or appreciate who you are." I never dreamed that was my problem also.

If you are excited about something, and they say "Yes., but" or "You're crazy" or "You are always so emotional and out of control", that may be invalidation.

Of course, nobody's perfect and on occasion people will make mistakes or be impolite. And I am not talking about the person who is overly sensitive.

This may be done by denying, minimizing, ridiculing, ignoring, or judging the other’s feelings or perceptions.

Regardless of the means, the effect is clear: the other person’s feelings are judged as “unimportant” or “wrong.” Invalidation can take many forms.




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Yes I did meet a few dates from on-line meets and no it wasn't too scary but I just hadn't met THE ONE yet!